From May 17, 2016 at 12:16AM
How to kill shyness and get what you deserve (or at least put it to the side):
In this cut-throat, dog eat dog world, shyness will take you nowhere. I’ve learned that mostly through rejection through job interviews and men. Truth: there is always someone willing to do what you aren’t and that’s just my realization within the job market. I used to feel disappointed after job interviews, because I would shake and interviewer’s hand knowing from then I was not going to get a call back. Why? I failed to sell myself because I stumbled on the questions; my shyness left me stuttering and/or speechless on how to answer the question. I remember those times vividly and now I am more comfortable in an interview than ever. I also am more comfortable around the opposite sex than ever. Here’s what I’ve learned…
- Be yourself. If you get the job or if you start dating the guy, they’ll see the real you eventually. It is easier to just be yourself, that way you don’t have to remember a persona. So just relax, breathe deeply, and let your greatness shine through. If you don’t know the answer to a question, tell the truth. You didn’t understand the question? Ask if they could repeat it.
- Take your time when you answer. I’ve had men ask me so many questions in one sitting that I felt like I was on an interview and it made for good practice. Look them in the eye, smile, and think about your answer.
- Be polite. Like I tell everyone I come across, manners are a thing. They make you more attractive and whether that’s for the date or the job, you will win with please and thank you.
- Show excitement not desperation. There’s a fine line. You can be excited for something but not desperate for it. Don’t act stuck up or like the job is beneath you, be interested but calm. Smile, laugh when appropriate, actively listen, ask questions (at the end), and respond thoroughly.
- Follow up. More so for the job than the guy. A thank you email is always nice after the interview. If you do not get the job, ask them why. If you felt the interview went really well. Email the interviewer and ask why they decided to pursue another candidate. Sometimes we’re off base with our feelings of good and bad interviews and an answer to this question could be vital to landing the next job.
- Practice in the mirror or record yourself. So an interview didn’t go as well as you thought and you didn’t get this job. Google frequently asked interview questions and answer them in the mirror or record yourself as you answer them. This will help you relax. You may even laugh at how stiff you look on camera. There’s a website/app called Glassdoor that sometimes tells you the specific interview questions a company asks. Look for the company on the app and practice answering the questions you find. Make sure you’re not too fixed on only those questions being asked and can answer anything.
- Don’t give up because of rejection. It is discouraging, but the only thing worse than a “no” is not trying. Don’t let a “no” stop you from finding your dream job or love of your life. Not everyone is going to see your potential and that’s okay. Greater things will be out there for you as long as you keep going.