Day 8
I used to hate endings. Now with certain shit, I’m just like “let’s get it over with.” It’s a balancing act of enjoying the moment and prepping to never have this same feeling again. The prepping can take away the moment’s joy so it’s only like 20% of that. I’m writing this at 3:00am because I’ve been working most of the day, trying to finish up some stuff. So that’s all I have for today’s entry.
Enjoy the moment. Paint a picture of it vivid in your head/actually snap a photo cause memories (and pictures) are all we’re left with.
(Came back to this because this next piece goes well with it:)
It’s easy as hell to say “I’ve grown” and deep down you know that you really haven’t made any progress. For me, I knew I had really grown when I realized that I appreciate endings now.
Beginnings used to be my favorite part of everything: it’s all so fresh and new. I have something to prove to myself.
I even liked middles of friendship and relationships, because now you’re comfortable right? You know each other better. You know “this will make BLANK smile/laugh”, “this is info BLANK would find interesting”, “I can invite BLANK, I know they’ll come with me.” Or the middle of a job you don’t hate, the work is easier because you really know your role and from time to time there’s some newness.
I hated endings, from simple things like not wanting to finish a show to the ending of great friendships and relationships. (I’m talking we just faded apart, not about “losing” slimeballs.)
Now though, I appreciate a good ending. When shows wrap everything up and leave me with no lingering questions. When we just faded apart, I’m not going to force it. The love is still there and I sincerely thank you and appreciate you for the memories. Things end and that’s okay.
Song: Break Up – Mario, Sean Garrett, Gucci Mane