Day 1 of Ship 30 for 30:
Why are you doing this?
To force commitment into my life. I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m noncommittal, but the ratio of things I start and things I end up finishing is off. I get bored and that new thing just seems much more appealing. I have to actively tell myself, “finish this before you start this.” It sounds weird. But like now I’m writing this, thinking about my to-dos for later and it’s tempting to get up and do something else. I like challenges though, so I just view it as a game – points to me for finishing a task before starting another one. I want this to be something I finish.
What I’ll write about?
LOL, I should commit to that as well, but baby steps. So I’ll be honest and say knowing me: it’ll be a little bit of this and a little bit of that.
Today’s topic: Boundaries
It’s extremely important to set boundaries in your life. Boundaries protect your energy, boosts your esteem, set the tone for healthy relationships, and helps you fund work-life balance.
Okay, but can we get real, why does everyone need boundaries?
Because you’ll end up going crazy. Hear me out. Have you ever felt like you were being taken advantage of? Like people just keep asking you for thing after thing & you just keep saying yes and doing it? Then comes the “they only keep asking me because I keep saying yes.” Okay now pull back a little bit, come from inside yourself. Where are you? Are you at work? Is what these people are asking you to do in your job description or a part of your role?
Lack of boundaries will have you feeling overwhelmed, overworked, overstimulated, not objective, and eventually, you’ll develop animosity toward everyone in your life.
That’s your personal spilling into everything else. And I know it sounds a little harsh and we just met, but accountability is key.
How do I set boundaries:
This will look different for everyone, so this is how I set boundaries.
- I got to know myself: mentally, spiritually, intellectually, emotionally, and physically. What are my limits? What’s the point where I’m like (“fuck all this” – cause that’s the point where my boundaries have been crossed). And as a woman, paying attention to my cycle: there’s a window where I have way less energy and more alone time and sleep is needed. If you’re a list person, make a list: in what situations do you feel comfortable/uncomfortable.
- Learning not to take everything personal. So I have my boundaries, but most things aren’t a direct attack against me. If the waitress gets my order wrong, (she doesn’t know me from a can of paint, so know way she did it just to get me mad) I’m just going to ask her to correct the order.
- I learned to back myself out of the situation. My first thought is where am I and who is asking something of me? (Boundaries in an office & boundaries at home are different, unless your safety is involved).
- Exercising my birthright to say “No.”
- Making the boundaries known & being assertive with them. You can’t flip flop on your boundaries, it confuses you and the people in your life.
- Took inventory on the people in my life, how do I feel around my people. Anyone that drained my energy all the time and disrespected my boundaries had to go.
Song stuck in my head today: Connect – Drake